Love Is
by Gnomie022
Summary: Despite the scars on his face you can’t help but adore his smile. Again and again you encounter him. You know nothing can come of your attraction. You’re polar opposites, light and dark, sweet and bitter…and yet you find you can’t stay away from him.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Ok, I've had one review on this so far...and I was told there were grammatical mistakes. To me that is unacceptable, and since I wrote the three chapters so quickly last night I've decided to clean them up a bit. Keep in mind as you're reading this story that it's meant just to be a sappy little drivel and not an intricate angsty novel. The chapters are short, the story is shorter...It's just to keep me from going crazy until the next book comes out. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy.

Love is…complicated. That's probably the best word I could use to describe it. You meet a man for a brief moment and know instantly he's trouble. Yet you find yourself inexplicably drawn to him. Quickly you push the thought out of your head. "It's not him," you say to yourself. "I've not had enough water today. I'm just a bit light headed." You're able to quickly forget the thought and move on. And then you run into him again and you feel your traitorous body betray you a second time. It was easy to blame it on dehydration one time, but it's hard to brush off the tingles running up your spine a second time. Despite the scars on his face you can't help but adore his smile. Again and again you encounter him. You know nothing can come of your attraction. You're polar opposites, light and dark, sweet and bitter…and yet you find you can't stay away from him. There's something in his eyes that draws you in. Something that makes you lose your breath when he brushes by you just a bit too close. Something that fills your stomach with warmth when you catch him staring at you. Something that makes you burn with desire when you realize he doesn't care that you've caught him.

What's that? Am I speaking of myself? Mind your manners child! Where would you get such an idea from? I've not had time for such things as that. The law was my only lover. Nabbing Rats until my body was too old to run them down. No no I made other choices in life. Ah, yes the child. 'Tis something I've been asked about for many a year. All right I guess you could say I did love once. Loved enough to have a child. I wanted to be normal…just for a day. Have normal cares and normal responsibilities…but it wasn't to be.

Who's the father you ask? Haha child people have asked me that same question over and over. I didn't give it up to my closest friends what makes you think I'll give his identity to you? Why of course my son knows who his father is. I wouldn't keep it from him. But he's chosen to keep it quiet for reasons he doesn't share with me. Perhaps he likes to have something secret for himself. It's not easy growing up with a mother that is known to every Rat on the street. Ah yes the rumors that it was that Rogue, Rosto the Piper. Did you not also hear the tales that it was my partner Tunstall, or maybe my dear friend Ersken having a tryst behind his own love's back? Or that a Rat forced himself on me and I was too ashamed to admit it. Many rumors have been spread about it love. You can't believe every whisper you hear.

Oh dear me child I am much too old for all this pestering. If you weren't my own gods-child I'd throw you out on your rump into the street! All right, if it's a tale you want it's a tale you'll get, but mind you I was young then, not much older than you. The decisions I made then were based off of my heart, and not my head. Would I go back and change things? Maybe. Doubtful. The decisions I made then led me to where I am today, and I am happy. I would prefer if things could have been somewhat different…if he could still be here with me instead of ––Ah! But I get ahead of myself. I'll start at the beginning…

It started back in my third year being a Dog…

A/N: So hopefully you liked it, now if you'd be so kind as to review, and let me know what you think...


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Again this is edited to try to make sure there are no grammatical mistakes. If I missed some let me know and I'll fix them right away. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!

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It started back in my third year being a Dog. I was twenty years old, partnered with one of the best Dogs in Corus, and surrounded by more friends then I'd had in my life. I was shy as could be out of uniform and in front of strangers, but walking those streets as a Dog I was in my element, and life couldn't get better. I knew Rosto had taken a liking to me from the start; he had made that quite clear. I was too tightly bound to my duty though, and knew a Dog and a Rogue could never work. I wouldn't be able to turn a blind eye to his crimes, and sooner or later I would hobble someone important to him. It would get messy fast and so I knew distance would be best for us.

Rosto on the other hand had a different idea. He figured we did fine as friends why not take it to the next level. He swore up and down he'd leave off all other women if he had me, and I'd be treated like a queen. He told me if I was so worried about it I would just have to quit being a Dog. I told him if he wanted me so bad he should quit being a Rat. We said it to each other many times though we both knew neither would ever give in. Not only were we too stubborn, but things would become messy on both sides should one of us give in. We were the same in that we both knew our duties and were dedicated to following through on them.

And then one day something changed. It happened in an instant. So fast I didn't even recognize it until it was too late. I was laid up for a few days with some broken ribs and a bruised skull after a particularly nasty fight with a large gang of child stealers. I was feeling sorry for myself lying in my room when in waltzed Rosto with a basket full of pasties and a bottle of cider.

"Ah my fair jewel laid up in bed all broken to pieces. When will ye give in and let me care for ye?"

"When you hand your crown over to someone else Rosto," I said glowering at him. My head was pounding and I was annoyed that he thought he could just walk into my room the sarden mumper. Rosto threw his head back and laughed at me.

"Always the same response my dove," he said bending to kiss my cheek. I cursed myself silently when I felt my cheeks burning. Why did he have this effect on me? "Here now love, something to help you get your strength back up, and I thought you could use some company of the human nature," he said winking at my star-cat Pounce.

_It's fine with me._ Pounce said standing and stretching. _I've business to attend to anyway._ I glared at him as he disappeared from the room. He always left when I needed him. Rosto came over to my bed and flopped down beside me holding out a warm pasty. I thought for a moment of denying it and sending him packing but they smelled so delicious and I was feeling hungry. So against my head's better judgment I took it and ate it. Rosto struck up a conversation with me on the state of things in the Cess Pool. Crime was down, employment was up, and we seemed to be heading into a prosperous harvest season. Perhaps it would be an easy winter.

Time moved swiftly and despite my best efforts I greatly enjoyed Rosto's company. He never failed to make me laugh and it was always good to hear his view on the goings on in the city. The Rogue's attitude had a great influence over the common folk. If Rosto was calm, so would the rest of Corus be. Minutes turned into hours Rosto left four times, once to use the privy, twice so I could, and then another time to fetch us some more to eat. Before we knew it night had fallen and the hour was growing late.

"I hate to say it love but I must be leaving your company. I've a few errands to attend to yet tonight and they mustn't be put off longer," he said looking truly sad. My traitorous heart sank. I opened my mouth to reply and was amazed when my voice actually sounded disappointed.

"All right, I understand. Rogue duty calls." Rosto smiled and kissed me on the nose.

"Right you are, but never you mind. I'll return on the morrow and we'll have a grand time." I smiled and nodded. Rosto moved to get up then paused to look at me. He held my gaze for more than a moment and I blushed and turned my head away. Gently he reached out and grabbed my chin between his thumb and forefinger turning my head back so our gazes again met.

"Beka you have the most beautiful eyes…" and then he kissed me. It wasn't the first time Rosto had kissed me. He had kissed me several times though only for brief moments here or there because he knew I'd hit him. This time though his kiss lingered, then deepened and I found myself kissing him back. Maybe it was that moment when something inside of me was awakened. Something that I had kept buried for years and tried to ignore. A burning desire to continue what this man had started, but before I could explore it any more Rosto pulled away and stood up. He walked towards the door and paused as he reached it. He turned slightly and in a gruff voice said, "Until tomorrow," and then he was gone.

The sound of the door closing pulled me out of whatever trance he had put me in, and it was at that moment I finally admitted it to myself.

I was totally and irrevocably in love with Rosto the Piper, Rogue of Corus.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Ok, I completely reworked this chapter. I had one constructive review that things were being rushed, and I knew they were so I thought maybe I'd try to slow it down a bit. Go into a bit more detail...let me know what you think. I for one like this chapter better.

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I didn't sleep well that night. My head was turning so fast I couldn't settle down. I was in love with Rosto. I knew he loved me back, that I wasn't just another mot for him to bed, but something different. I knew he wasn't entirely joking when he asked me to quit my Dog duties to be with him. But how could we ever make it work? My head continued to scream out the protests it had always had, but this time my heart fought back. Rogue or not Rosto was something important to me. I'd always listened to my mother tell tales of romance and love, and always in the end love had won out. But those were just stories right? Real life couldn't really work like that. But maybe it could… After all Ersken and Kora seemed to do all right with each other, they even had a babe on the way. Maybe, just maybe we could make it work. It was around the third hour of the morning when I finally fell into a fitful sleep deciding I would just have to let things play out and take them as they came.

I awoke to my door opening and many voices talking. In came Kora, Ersken, Aniki, Tunstall, and Rosto brought up the rear. Each of them carried an assortment of food.

"What's all this?" I asked sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"We decided that since you were laid up here we'd bring breakfast to you today," a very pregnant Kora said. "We thought to keep it small though since you're still recovering and all." I smiled gratefully. I loved my breakfast crew, but I knew too many people in my small room would cause my head to start aching again. I was glad to have my friends though as I did miss their company very much. Breakfast was passed out and the conversation was kept light and happy. Eventually after the food was gone people began to trickle out to perform their various daily activities.

Finally everyone had let except for Rosto. Again he flopped down on the bed beside me taking care not to aggravate my injuries. We sat there for a moment our shoulders nearly touching. I felt tingles throughout my lower back and I know my cheeks must have been tinted a slight shade of pink at his closeness. My mind fumbled around for something to say…anything, but Rosto beat me to it.

"I'm sorry about last night," he said. I felt my heart sink. He was sorry? I wasn't! What had he to be sorry about? Had I misjudged everything in the past and all we had between us was some friendly flirting? Had I completely deceived myself into thinking I was in love with someone who just liked to tease me?

Trying to scrap together a bit of courage so I could retain some dignity I replied, " 'S nothing to be sorry about. T'was only a kiss."

"No Beka, you misunderstand. I'm not sorry about the kiss, I'm sorry that I ran out so quickly afterward. You see there were important things I needed to attend to, and after you kissed me back like that….well I very nearly lost myself and forgot my duties entirely. I had to rush out before…gods Beka, I always knew kissing you would be amazing, but in my wildest dreams I _never_ thought it would be like that!"

"So you enjoyed it?" I said slowly trying to make sure I fully understood him.

"Enjoyed it? I doubt any other mot's kiss will ever be able to compare!"

"And are you planning on kissing many more mots?" I asked glaring at Rosto. He looked at me and quirked an eyebrow.

"That depends. Are you going to give up this law-abiding nonsense to come be my queen?"

"Rosto," I said with a sigh, "You know the answer to that question. I can't quit being a Dog, it's who I am!"

"Then you know the answer to my question. Now I have a question for you. If you have no intention of being with me why did you kiss me back? Why would you do that if nothing has changed?"

"I wouldn't say nothing has changed…" I said.

"And what exactly does that mean?"

"Spending so much time with you yesterday made me think a lot…it made me realize how important you are in my life. And I know it's taken me a long time to realize this, but I care about you a great deal. So much that I can't imagine my life without you. And I was thinking….Ersken and Kora do just fine together on opposite sides…We'd just have to keep those parts of our lives separate––" Rosto held up a hand to stop my rambling.

"Are you saying that you'd like to start something lass?" He asked me. The look in Rosto's eyes gave me those tingles again.

"Well…yes…I mean in a _way_ I suppose. Not the way you want, I can't be your queen…and we'd have to keep this as quiet as we can, Goodwin would have my hide if she found out, but…dammit Rosto I'm in love with you and I _want _to be with you!" Rosto grinned down at me.

"That's just what I've been wanting to hear." And then he kissed me. The kiss escalated quickly, both of us gasping for air as our hands roamed over each others bodies. So caught up in each other were we that we had quite forgotten I was still on the mend. Rosto grabbed at my side tightly which pulled me our of the trance and I yelped in pain. My ribs weren't yet fully healed and he had found just the right spot to send flames shooting along my sides.

"Oh love, forgive me! I allowed myself to get caught up…I didn't mean to hurt you!" I grimaced at the idea of moving at all, but I pushed through it and put my hand on his mouth.

"Never mind, I wasn't paying attention either. Let's just take it easy shall we? At least until I'm mended." Rosto nodded and kissed me on the forehead.

"As you wish my dear," he said and settled back into the bed tucking me into his side so he could be close to me without further causing me pain. We spent the rest of the day together again just talking and laughing. I learned more about that Rogue in just those two days than I had known previously. The day turned to night, and as the clock struck the twelfth hour I looked up at Rosto.

"I suppose you'll need to be going then," I said.

"Not tonight," He replied gently kissing my nose. Rogue business can wait. Tonight I'm yours." And he stayed there with me the whole night. Nothing happened in that bed but sleeping since my injuries prevented much canoodling, but it was the best night's sleep I had ever had. I didn't have a single nightmare all night long. But when I woke my bed was empty and a note lay on the pillow next to me. I unfolded it and read,

_I'm sorry to leave you like this but you looked too peaceful to wake up. I have several errands to attend to today, and since you must return to duty I thought it best to stay out of your hair. I'll be back tonight after your watch to finish what we started last night. I love you. Rosto._

I laid back on the bed with a sigh and a smile. Thoughts of what the night might bring fluttered through my mind. I smiled and slowly climbed out of bed. My injuries were feeling much better today and I was happy to note that there were just dull aches left in my sides. I had much to do that day, I had to go get checked by the kennel healer to be approved for duty again, I had to pick Achoo up from Kora who was caring for her while I healed, and I needed to visit the dust spinners. Doubtless after a four day hiatus they'd have loads to share with me. I quickly dressed for the day and headed out. I was excited to no longer be confined to my bed and I knew that the night before me was going to be filled with adventure. I was sure of it.

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A/N: Review please? Thanks!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Yay chapter 4! I hope you're liking it so far. There will only be a couple more chapters...like 1...maybe 2 or 3. I am not sure, but I only meant for this to be a short story so....enjoy! And don't forget to review and tell me what you think at the end!

Disclaimer (haven't done this yet whoops): I don't own any of Tamora Pierce's lovely and creative characters or land or maps or any of that sort of thing!

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_Yes child, that night was one of the happiest of my life. I needn't go into detail for to talk of such things is vile and unnecessary. But I will say that it was magical. Rosto made me feel things that I had never before felt, and have not felt since._

We spent our days apart, he took care of his duties as rogue, and I took care of mine as a Dog. We didn't talk about our separate lives; if I hobbled a Rat that worked for him he looked the other way, just as I did if I happened to overhear something not meant for my ears. We were successful at keeping our relationship quiet, everyone knew, but no one talked our right about it, and we were never caught. When we went out together in public we made sure to carry on just as we had before, as minor friends.

Then one day after we had been together for more than half a year, something happened…

"I'm late," I said when Rosto came into my room. He looked at me confused.

"No…I'm late. Sorry love, I meant to be here twenty minutes ago, but things happened," he said coming over to give me a kiss. I pulled away from him.

"No, I'm _late_," I said again. "As in my monthly was due a week ago and it hasn't come." Rosto's eyes widened and his mouth formed a silent "oh".

"I haven't seen a healer yet, but I plan to go to one tomorrow. Not that there's much point to it. I'm positive I'm pregnant, but I figured it'd be good to confirm it." Rosto just stood there in shock.

"But….but…h-how can this be?? We were so careful…you have that charm…"

"Yes and one night you were less careful and broke the chain and it fell off at just the wrong moment remember? I'm sure that's what did it." Rosto fell back onto the bed.

"Well this is…this is…very unexpected. What are we going to do?" he asked me.

"We are not going to do anything. I'll have the babe and raise it. Simple as that. I make a decent enough living now I should be able to support it all right enough."

"Well don't I get a say in this? It's my child too Beka!"

"I know Rosto, but what would you have me do? I'm a Dog and you're a Rogue! We can't just announce to the world that I'm having your child! It would destroy my career and no one would trust you anymore! You know my reputation around here Rosto, I hobble people that break the law. No one will follow a rogue who has a family with a Dog!"

"The people be hanged Beka I'm not going to just walk off and let you raise this child on your own! He'll have my blood flowing through his veins, and I will not have one of my children grow up without knowing his father!"

"And what makes you so sure it's going to be a boy?" I asked angrily. It's funny now how of all that he said the one thing I picked on first was the fact that he called the child a boy. "It very well likely could be a _she_!"

"Yes it very well likely could be, but that's entirely beside the point! I will not have my child grow up without a father. I've been there Beka, and so have you! Do you really want to put our child through what we both went through? Do you want your child to have to watch you struggle to raise him alone?" That hit me hard. I always told myself I'd never end up like my mother. Alone raising a family, so desperate for attention I'd let any Rat into my bed. Yet here I was about to be a single mother and not only was a Rat in my bed he was the King of all Rats.

"I…I don't know what to do!" I said falling onto the bed next to him tears pouring down my cheeks. "It's the gods cursing me for allowing my heart to lead for once."

"No Beka, it doesn't have to be a curse! Look, I've built up a small fortune these last couple years. We could disappear. I'll fake my death and hand the crown off to someone else, and you can give up being a Dog. We can move across the country away from all this, buy some land and raise our own little family." I looked at Rosto my mind turning quickly with my jumbled thoughts…raise a family? Move away…quit being a Dog? But then Rosto and I could be together for real. There'd be no more of these conflicts about being on different sides…no more worrying that one day I'd find Rosto in the street with his neck sliced open and a new Rogue on his throne. Things would be so much simpler.

The plan was solid it seemed. We could make it work. But we'd have to leave everyone…all our friends, my family…could we really just pick up and start all over? I thought of the child growing in my womb. I swore if I had children they'd have a better life than I had growing up. I wouldn't let them worry about where their next meal would come from.

"All right," I said. "Let's do it then." Rosto sat up and looked at me closely.

"Are you sure? You're positive that this is something you want to do?" I nodded my head slowly going over every angle in my mind.

"Yes. Yes it is."

So we made plans, worked things out. Rosto wouldn't tell me the details of how he was going to fake his death, and I didn't want to know. I was going to go into the kennel in the morning and tell Goodwin of my unexpected surprise and hand in my resignation and in a weeks time we were going to sneak out of the city and away from Corus. Forever.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Wow...go me...updating again. I think that may be a record for me.

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_It wasn't as simple as just saying goodbye and running away. I don't know how exactly I expected it to go…I knew Goodwin and Tunstall wouldn't let me just walk away without an explanation. I had to tell them something, I'd never forgive myself if I left them thinking something had happened to me. I couldn't tell them the truth though. The fewer that knew the truth the better. If word got out that Rosto was still alive…well things could go badly for many people. One didn't just stop being the Rogue. No one would support a rogue that just took over for another. He had to _earn_ the spot. We couldn't risk it getting out so I made up a story for why I was leaving…_

"I'm quitting Dog-work," I said without looking Goodwin in the eye.

"Oh?" Good win said without looking up from the papers on her desk. "And what is your reason?"

"I can't handle the violence anymore….constantly needing to be on my guard…I just want to live normally. I want to live in peace." Goodwin looked up at me with a you've-got-to-be-kidding-me look.

"You won't be finding the peace you're looking for as the Rogue's arm candy. If anything you'll find that you'll need to watch your back more." She looked back down at her work.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "I'm not planning on becoming anyone's arm candy Goodwin…I simply wish to be done––"

"Do you really think me a fool after knowing me these past years Cooper? I know you've been canoodling that man in secret. _Everyone_ knows you've been canoodling in secret. I didn't say anything because I thought you'd get the silliness out of you now and move on. Not quit everything you believe in for a man who'd just as soon slit your throat as kiss you." That ruffled my feathers. Rosto was _not_ a typical Rat. He did not murder for enjoyment, and he would not slit my throat!

"You've no idea of what you speak Goodwin. I'm not quitting so that I can be with Rosto!" I hate lying. "I'm leaving Corus altogether!" That got her attention. Goodwin's eyes snapped up from her desk to me, confusion on her face.

"What?"

"I'm not doing it anymore, living like this. I've saved up a bit of money to travel across Tortall to the Galla border. I've an acquaintance there who has secured me a position as an assistant seamstress in a small town. I should earn a decent enough living to support myself."

"But Cooper…" Goodwin said clearly taken aback. "Doggins in your blood…it's who you are, you can't just quit!"

"It's not, and I can," I said. "My life has a different purpose now Goodwin." I subconsciously wrapped my arms around my waist. "I'll finish my duty for this week, and by Saturday I'll be gone." And with that I left the Kennel.

"One down," I muttered to myself. Goodwin was the first to hear my news. I had yet to tell Tunstall, or my family, or any of my other friends. I felt nauseous and I knew it wasn't just from the baby. I hated lying to those I care about. I hated even more that I wasn't going to see them again after I left.

Telling Tunstall that I was leaving was even harder than telling Goodwin. He yelled and raged of course, but then he just looked as if he wanted to cry. He was supposed to be finished Doggin before me, not the other way around. Telling the others went smoother, though it was no easier. Kora threw her her arms around me and started weeping. Ersken looked devastated, and Aniki was just silent.

Watch that night was rough. Tunstall refused to talk to me, though I can't say I blame him. After watch I went home to find Rosto waiting for me. He immediately opened his arms and held me as I cried. We knew it had to go this way, there was no other choice. But that didn't make it any easier.

The next couple days dragged. Tunstall still didn't speak to me, and Kora cried every time we saw each other. My family didn't react much better…well Lorine, Will, and Nilo didn't. Diona gushed with joy that I had finally wisened up and would do something proper with my life now. Oh if she only knew the truth. Saying goodbye to them wasn't nearly as hard as I had imagined it would be though. We had grown apart after I left. I would miss them greatly, but they had their own lives now. The last person I had to say goodbye to was Tansy. My heart broke at the look on her face. Sadness, rejection…and worst of all abandonment. I was abandoning her.

"Can't you just get a job working in a shop here?" She asked desperately. "Why do you have to move across the country?"

"Too many Rats in Corus have a vendetta against me. I'd never have peace." As hard as it was to say goodbye I knew it would be worth it in the long run. It was like I told Goodwin. My life had a different purpose now. Finally the day we were to leave had arrived. I packed my bags and Pounce and I headed out of the city. The whole way there Pounce told me what a dolt I was being for running away with Rosto. I'd regret it someday he told me. I was needed here. I ignored him though. Maybe I was needed here, but others needed me more. And maybe someday a part of me would regret leaving, but I had to try for Rosto's sake, and the sake of the unborn life in my womb.

We reached our destination sometime around dusk and I settled myself down on a blanket and waited. Rosto would be here soon I told myself with confidence. Dusk turned to nightfall, and still I waited. Surely by now Rosto had worked out his plan and was sneaking out fo the city…

I fell asleep at some point. I had fought the fatigue, but the babe made me weary. I awoke sometime in the early morning to Pounce washing my face. Rosto hadn't come yet…what had happened?

"Wake up Beka," he said. "I stayed to keep watch while you slept, but I need to go back into the city now to find out what's happened. Something doesn't sit right with me." Pounce ran off and left me sitting there alone, my mind racing. What had happened? Where was he? Why had he left me sitting here all night? If things hadn't gone according to plan surely he would have tried to contact me somehow…unless…unless he had grown coward since we had made this plan. He had a whole kingdom in front of him. Why would he give that up for me?

This thought stayed with me as I sat there. And as it stewed in my mind I grew more and more angry. I had been a fool. Abandoned. I don't know how long it was since Pounce had left but I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my pack and marched back to the city. Rosto the Piper would pay.

So lost was I in my thoughts that I didn't notice the whispers among the people. I didn't notice the change in the city. The unsettled feelings…I finally arrived at the Dancing Dove and burst through the doors. The few inside looked at me in shock but I ignored them. I marched up the stairs to Rosto's private rooms and loudly entered the room ready to break skulls. I stopped shocked at the sight in front of me.

Kora was sobbing into Ersken's shoulder as Aniki paced the room. The few other mots and coves that had worked into our breakfast group all sat around with grievous expressions on their faces.

"Oh Beka!" Kora cried. She ran to me and threw her arms around me sobbing.

"What is it?" I asked confused. "What has happened?"

"It's Rosto," Aniki said from her corner. "He's dead."

"He's what?" I asked confused…if they thought he was dead then he had gone through with the plan….so where was he? Had he confused the meeting place?

"We're not sure exactly how it happened," Aniki continued. "He's been acting strange lately, but we ignored his behavior and attributed it to your leaving. We shouldn't have though…he let his guard down. Last night Argo the butcher asked for a private meeting with Rosto. Rosto complied and that's where things went fuzzy. We think he used a poison…slipped something into his drink. That's the only way we can explain the black tint to his lips and how there was no struggle.

"Argo came out of the room shouting that he was the new King, the old Rat was dead. I killed him on the spot."

"So…so Rosto's dead, and you're the new rogue?" I asked.

"That's how it is," Aniki sighed. "I never asked for this." I was suddenly very confused. That wasn't the plan Rosto had told me. Rufus Marsbeck was supposed to be the one to take over….

"Beka!" A familiar cat voice said as Pounce entered the room. "Beka it's true…things went wrong…Rosto really is dead." I heard nothing more but a buzzing in my ears and my vision went black as I succumbed to dark numbness.

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A/N: Don't hate me please? And review. Thanks! One more chapter to go....


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Ok, last chapter folks. Yes it's a short story, but it's also only the second story that's managed to keep my attention long enough for me to finish it. Maybe I should stick to short stories from now on.....Anyway enjoy!

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I came to surrounded by the smell of Rosto. I sighed in relief. It must all have been a dream, he was right beside me, I could smell him. I reached over to touch him next to me and felt only the bed covers. I opened my eyes. I was lying in Rosto's bed, and I was alone. They must have laid me here when I passed out.

Goodwin sat in a chair next to the bed, her head back and her eyes closed, though I could tell by her breathing she was not asleep.

"Tell me it's not true," I said quietly. Goodwin lifted her head up and looked at me with sympathy.

"They've laid his body out in the next room Cooper…I'm sorry."

"I want to see him," I said refusing still to believe it was true. I wouldn't believe it. This was part of his plan. It had to be. Rosto would never be so careless as to get poisoned. Goodwin nodded and I stood up and followed her to the room next door. There he lay on the bed, completely still, his face at peace looking devastatingly beautiful despite its many scars.

"I'd like to be alone with him," I said. Again Goodwin nodded and shut the door as she left. Slowly I walked over to the bed. I reached out to touch his cheek and quickly pulled my hand away. He was cold, and his skin felt like rubber. His cheeks had a blue tint to them and his lips were black as Aniki had said.

"Rosto," I said my voice trembling. "Rosto you can stop the act now…It's time to leave with me." When I got no response I climbed up onto the bed next to him.

"Rosto please! You're not really dead, this is just an act remember? You can't really be dead!" Tears started leaking from my eyes though I barely noticed. "You're not allowed to be dead!" I started speaking louder, he needed to hear me. "You promised to take care of me! You promised we'd go away from here! You promised our child wouldn't grow up without a father!" I was sobbing now and shouting, not caring who may hear me.

A fluttering at the window caught my attention then. A lone pigeon sat on the sill and before the ghost on its back spoke I knew.

"I'm sorry Beka," Rosto's voice said faintly. "I love you." And then he was gone, His soul passed on just like that.

"No!" I screamed startling the pigeon from the window. "No! No! No!" I threw myself across Rosto's body and sobbed into his chest.

I never heard the door open, but suddenly Goodwin was there, pulling me off Rosto and into her arms. I struggled still sobbing but she held on to me tightly. I finally relaxed and just sobbed in her arms. As my sobs slowed she spoke.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to have a babe?" She asked.

"I couldn't tell anyone…we were going to run away, go buy some land be farmers…I made up a story and Rosto was supposed to fake his death and meet me. Only last night he never came….I thought he had betrayed me…I was so angry and now…No one could know Goodwin. We couldn't trust that the wrong people wouldn't find out somehow. We were going to be so happy." I continued to cry on Goodwin's shoulder.

Time moved by at odd rates at that time. I was in a daze, not knowing what was going on around me. Eventually we had to bury Rosto's body. It was a small gathering of just his closest friends. I decided against leaving Corus. I knew I couldn't raise the babe alone. I needed my friends to help me. I took a desk job because pregnant Dogs were not allowed out on patrol. I let my work completely consume me and became a mindless zombie. It hurt too much to face reality.

My son was born eight months to the day of Rosto's death. He had my grey eyes, and a head of thick white hair. His nose and his cheeks were his father's through and through. His birth was what finally snapped me out of the cocoon I had wrapped myself in after Rosto's death. He was a little life that needed me, and I needed him right back.

_I haven't loved anyone since Rosto. I haven't even considered it. My only lover was my Dogging and my life was my son. I told him all about his father, and told him to be proud because even though his father was a Rogue, he was one of the best and noblest of men ever to walk the streets of Corus. He changed the Court of the Rogue forever and though he reigned for only a short time he was a legend. And my son was proud. He took after his father in nearly every way. He has the same sense of humor, the same mischievous manner…he takes after me in his love of justice though. And there's not a better Dog out there than my boy. _

_You know child, I haven't talked about this with anyone but my son. Goodwin never spoke of it again, and though people had their suspicions I never said who the father was, despite all the pestering. Oh I've gotten old now though and I suppose it doesn't really matter now. My dogging days are over anyway._

_So to get back to your original question dear, love is complicated. It's messy, and it's hard and you may find that the person you love isn't who you imagined it would be. But it's all worth it. Loving Rosto for those short months is worth the deep ache I feel when I'm alone. It's worth going to an empty bed every night knowing what I have had and lost. It's worth the nightmares where I watch him die in a variety of ways unable to save him, and it's worth the bitterness I feel after I wake from a good dream of him and remember that he really is gone. It is all worth it. I wouldn't take away a single moment of time with Rosto even if it meant all my pain would be erased. My life is better because I loved him. Love changes everything, it makes you grow. It is a sad life indeed for someone who does not know love, and I pray to the Goddess that you too will one day experience what love is really like._

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A/N: I'm so so so sorry I killed Rosto. I didn't mean for it to happen. Really. I had it all planned out that Rosto and Beka were going to get into a big fight and break up and somehow they'd remain friends but living separate lives....and it just got away from me and suddenly he was dead and...oh it is a sad day. There may be some confusion about Beka's son...originally I had said she had a daughter, but I thought when I killed Rosto that it would be more meaningful if she had a son. Someone to carry on the Cooper family name...and he was like a mini Rosto. I don't know if this is the direction that Pierce is planning on going, but she makes it pretty clear in her books who her heroine is going to hook up with. I don't think she's just toying with us I think somehow Beka and Rosto are going to have a child because George Cooper is way too much like Rosto for it to be a coincidence.

Anyway hopefully this fed your Pierce fix just a bit. Thank you so much for getting through the story and I hope you did enjoy it! Now review!


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